Before I Die
Before I Die is the name of the second episode of the TV show ''Miranda ''and was broadcast on the 22nd November 2010. Summary Fed up with the way her life is going, Miranda decides to do something important before she dies. Although when invited to be godmother to Chris and Alison 's baby, she attempts to do bad things for them to change their minds... little does she know that the tables have turned and that doing bad things only lead to good. Plot In the introduction, Miranda reveals that during a social occassion, she hasn't really accomplished much. Moreover, she explains how she was invited to Chris and Alison's baby shower where she gets drunk and told that she shouldn't be drinking by a woman who assumes that she is pregnant. Later sees Miranda is having a business meeting with Stevie who tells her that her 1s and 7s are not clear enough. She decides to go and check on her new phone and excited to see that she has new messages, one of which is asking her to come to a funeral but when she tries to replay it to see who it is, she accidentally deletes it. She thinks that maybe it's Gary who has died. At that moment, Gary walks through the door, making them both jump. Miranda takes this opportunity to feel his up to check that he's alive. Miranda then discusses whether she should go to the funeral or not. Before she goes to get ready for the funeral, she tries one of Gary's muffins and is disgusted at the thought of a savoury muffin. At the church, the people are filling the pews. She goes to ask her mum who has died but gets taken to the front by the same person who phoned her. She fails to find out who has died and then gets called up to the front to give her last respects. Whilst up there, she completely fails to guess who the person is and ends up singing. Afterwards, Miranda and Penny are not happy with one-another and Miranda's not looking causes her to fall into an open grave. We then see Miranda at the café where Gary is helping Miranda to feel better but when Miranda tells Clive that she fell into a grave, he finds it hilarious and bursts out laughing. She turns and is miffed to see Gary laughing too. She tells them seriously that if she died, what has she achieved to be proud of. At that moment, a man comes to ask whether he could place a sponsor form for his parachute jump in the café. Then Chris and Alison walk in and immediately annoy Miranda. They reveal that they would love Gary to be the godfather to their baby and he is overjoyed. They then turn to Miranda who assumes that they're asking her to also be godmother until they say that she is "definitely in the running", to wish she is secretly furious. As they leave, Penny and Tilly walk in and tell Miranda not to bother them as they are busy organising the charity wine tasting event, which she is warned to stay away from. Then she decides to prove to them that she's charitable by signing up for caring for the elderly. The scene moves on and shows her reading a book to an elderly lady who is sitting in a circle of chairs and amongst others. After one old man pretends to be dead, she looks to see if he's okay and he scares her, making her scream. This, in turn, makes all of the old people scream. She then leaves and comes back in riding a tea trolly with a tea cosy on her head. Whilst being thrown out, she sees Tilly and tries to pretend that the nurse is her boyfriend. Back in the shop, a meals on wheels lady delivers a meal to Miranda after they mistake her handwriting to read that her birth year was 1914 instead of 1974. Later, in the café, Miranda and Clive discuss her possibly not having a good eulogy in the event of her death. Clive states that he should ask Gary to speak to Chris and Alison as that would make them godmother and godfather. Tilly then walks in and asks her whether she's been chucked out of anywhere recently before exploding into laughter. To impress, she grabs the parachute leaflet and says that she'll be parachuting for charity. We then see her signing up for the parachute jump and the boy behind the counter immediately works her up by him not getting any of her sarcasting comments. When asked for ID, she pulls out her bus pass, which shows her to be ninety six and for some bizarre reason, he believes the bus pass rather than her actual looks. When told that the insurance doesn't cover anyone over eighty, she asks whether she could do the training at least so that she could be strapped to an instructor. Back at the shop, Miranda phones the council to tell them that she was born in 1974 and not 1914. All of a sudden, Chris, Alison and Gary walk on in to reveal that Miranda will be godmother to their baby. She is then told that this will mean her being Alison's birthing partner, which secretly disgusts her. She immediately asks whether Chris should do it but he reveals that he will be filming it and goes into detail about giving birth which revolts Miranda and somehow makes her sing a bit of Kylie Minogue. When they accompany one-another to the toilet, Miranda, Gary and Stevie slowly move behind the desk as Miranda reveals her plan to do bad to make them change their mind about her being godmother. When they return from the loo, Stevie tries to make Miranda look unfit to be a godmother by claiming to have stolen her outfit from a charity shop. Believing this, Alison suggests that stealing is often a sign of low-self esteem and that being godmother is the perfect way of raising this. After deciding to try to do evil, she heads over to the library to find Mein Kampf. She then gets into a "sushing" war with the librarian. She then decides it best to tip-toe to a quieter place and falls asleep in the children's reading corner. When she is awoken, she is mistaken for the reader in the children's book session. As she is reading them their book, Chris and Alison walk in and are impressed by her kindness. They leave as she tries to prove that she isn't very nice by reading Mein Kampf to them. At that point, the librian walks in and escorts her out. She returns to the shop, disappointed by her failed attempts at doing bad when the meals on wheels deliverer comes in with flowers, assuming Miranda to be dead after being taken off the list. We then get taken to the wine tasting event at the café where Penny immediately forces her to meet the dishy vicar. Chris and Alison come on over to reveal that Miranda will be performing the tradition of burying the placenta. This causes Miranda to take drastic measures and she punches the vicar and is proud of it. Before they attempt to throw her out, a man approaches her and thanks her for reading to her aunt before she died followed by a woman who recalls her doing a charity parachute (that she actually never got around to do). Suddenly proud, Penny takes Miranda to a group of people and introduces her. The episode ends with the cast dancing to a lively piece of music. Category:Series 2 Category:Episodes